forget him, love. i can kind of understand why he’d feel a little upset with you, but the things he says to you out of anger are not okay and you shouldn’t have to tolerate them. you’re human, you were hurting, and you reverted back to an unhealthy coping mechanism. self harm is an addiction, a habit, and it consumes your mind, it’s nothing easy to deal with. but instead of being understanding and trying to help you through it, he’s triggering it and making it worse so you’re better off without someone like that in your life. it’s unhealthy for you to be so dependent on him for everything, so you should think about trying to meet new people so you have a support system (when you’re feeling up to it). here are resources for you. what’s most important right now is your recovery. you may not ever fully get rid of the urge, but you can learn what triggers it and how to channel that pain into a healthier coping mechanism.